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Hello everyone. I’m Hyder. I’m a young cinematographer based in Karachi, Pakistan.
Over the years, I have invested a lot in my craft as a cinematographer and have had a privilege of photographing truly amazing projects with great directors and crews.
Lately, I’ve been experiencing a strange dislike for my work in retrospect. Whenever I watch any of my work, I begin to think of a thousand things that could be done differently. And the bigger issue is it feels impossible to tell if it’s real or psychological.
This never was a problem in my very early projects, and I could find joy in both filming and then watching my work in retrospect. I still do enjoy the process of preproduction, previz, collaborations with directors and all that goes into conceptual world building. It’s the final product that I can’t be proud of.
Does anyone else feel this way? Would appreciate any helpful suggestions!
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I can speak only for myself of course bit i think It’s a really common feeling that anyone involved in some artistic field experiences sooner or later.
When i look at the drawings i used to do time ago i wonder how i could possibly create something so horribly ugly.
Same with my old photos, first things i shot and so on.
Look at the bright side: if you are unsatisfied with your old work It means you got Better and you are at an higher level now or at least you are beginning tò get Better and feel It’s the right time to aim higher.
C’mon, if the legend is true they Say that even Michelangelo was not satisfied with his work and hammered the Moses in a moment of frustration. You are in good company 🙂
Hyder,
I don’t think I’ve ever been truly happy/satisfied with my work either, but I think its important to keep evolving, and finding new inspirations and ideas that challenge you, and keep you moving in new directions.
It’s interesting how we often underestimate the value of our work in hindsight. Maybe revisiting projects with fresh eyes allows us to appreciate the growth we’ve made. Embracing those feelings can lead to greater creativity in future endeavors!
I feel the same, then i watch indie movies or local nobudget movies or beginner stuff to not feel as bad about myself and see more of where i am in my journey, it is easy to forget how much you already accomplished or simply to see what you strengths are. then i try to safe screenshots of thinks i think that are lit beautifully and i just keep trying or i hire a colorist to see if it was my camera movement, composition, lighting or color grading, letting somebody else make a part of you work helps a lot understanding where there are things to learn.
And idk i saw movies that are bigger productions than i will ever have but still find something where i am like “ok i would have done that different” because it is still art… many choices are not good or bad they are just different
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