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Need your feedbaks on my first short film! (9 replies and 2 comments)

Samad EL KHARROUBI
1 month ago
Samad EL KHARROUBI 1 month ago

Hello everybody,

Here is a short film that I made not long ago, I post it here hoping to receive critics, comments or even advice if possible concerning (composition, camera movements, editing, lighting, sound design .... ).

This is my first short film, it is a (low / no budget / one man band) short, with my son and my wife as actors.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWF7oirAzvE&ab_channel=MakeFilms»

As YouTube compression severely degraded the picture quality, you could download the original copy of the movie (for optimal picture quality) at the link below:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uphRHO82JPFSMuj9lRlxEZdGRhlikxYT/view?usp=sharing»

I thank you in advance for your possible reactions!

Jacob W.
1 month ago
Jacob W. 1 month ago

First off, really awesome job! Super cool film. I think what stood out the most for me was the SOUND. The lighting also I thought was nice for night. 

Other more professional can note more intricacies on lighting and that sort. I thought it looked great.

I do have a question as to why you inverted the camera for the one little part? Was that a decision that had to do with the story? Or did you do it just to try and be different or cool? Just one thing I clocked as I wondered what the decision to do that was for. Again, it looked really cool.

The story was nice. I like the super soaker and working that into the story as use of water to defeat the 'predator' and the end was cool. All in all very well done. I would be very proud of this short. 

 

What gear did you use and what was the crew size/budget? If you care to disclose. 

Samad EL KHARROUBI
1 month ago
Samad EL KHARROUBI 1 month ago

First of all, thank you very much for your feedback Jacob, it's very encouraging for me!

About your question I imagine you're talking about the part (06:53 - 07:17)!

I inverted the camera to accentuate the feeling of chaos and reflect the character's discomfort and confusion at the moment. And as the character comes to his senses, the camera returns to its normal position.

Plus it was a visual continuity of the shot that precedes this sequence (the 6:45 shot).

For the budget, and the crew, I did everything by myself from the idea to the export of the final version (preproduction - shooting - postproduction) so there was no crew .

For the material:
I used my BMPCC4K (BRAW codec 3: 1) with a speedbooster x0.64 (MFT to EF mount)
Zoom tamron 24-70mm f2.8 G1
Rokinon cine lens 14mm T3.1 (P.O.V predator)

For the sound, I shot all the short in M.O.S (without recording any sound) then I added the voice of the actors, room tone, fouley, sfx… in post.

If you have any further questions I would be happy to answer you.

Thank you again!

Jacob W.
1 month ago

Dang. Wow. okay, well yeah, as long as you have a reasoning for doing that movement I'm all about it. For me, because maybe it was a nice slow gradual movement I didn't get the feeling of chaos, discomfort and confusion. To me it gave the sense of alteration. Like the rules of the world had been reversed or flipped on itself. I was kind of waiting for a twist of some kind because of that movement, But is only a matter of opinion. I think you have your vision and reasoning and stick to that. It looked very cool regardless. And also the fact you shot it yourself is very impressive. Very inspiring. great job on post sound too. Hope some others are able to view this and give feedback as well.

Samad EL KHARROUBI
1 month ago
Samad EL KHARROUBI 1 month ago

That's what makes the beauty of art in general and cinema in particular, it's not exact science, so everyone interprets things in their own way.Thank you Jacob for the feedback!

Mike
1 month ago
Mike 1 month ago

Considering it was your first short film then I would say it was very good. You have put a lot of work into this especially the sound effects but unfortunately it didn’t ring my bells.

First of all, why did you choose red and blue lighting, I think you could have achieved better results by using perhaps normal lighting with carefully placed additional bulbs hidden here and there casting long shadows to make it more “spooky”. It was an interesting treatment but didn’t work for me. The sound effects were extremely well done and at times very effective at reinforcing the images but I found it very frustrating to watch, the images were too weak and I had to guess what it was about. The sound dominated most scenes and although the levels were well controlled they did distract me as I was constantly searching for an image that corresponds with the SFX.

Interesting short film that would look better shot with conventional lighting. Only my opinion ofcourse, don’t take it personally.

(Quebec is one of my favourite cities, full of talented film makers)

 

Would anybody else like to make a comment, it is important we have a variety of opinions.

Samad EL KHARROUBI
1 month ago
Samad EL KHARROUBI 1 month ago

Hi Mike! Thank you very much for your reply! It's very interesting!
Considering it was your first short film then I would say it was very good. You have put a lot of work into this especially the sound effects but unfortunately it didn’t ring my bells.

First of all, why did you choose red and blue lighting?
I chose the blue color to represent the night (the moon light)
For the red color, I chose it to accentuate the feeling of danger (red is the color of blood so psychically it is linked to danger).

I think you could have achieved better results by using perhaps normal lighting with carefully placed additional bulbs hidden here and there casting long shadows to make it more “spooky”. It was an interesting treatment but didn’t work for me.

I wanted to move away from the horror / adult style and be closer to the Sci-Fi / kids style.

The sound effects were extremely well done and at times very effective at reinforcing the images but I found it very frustrating to watch, the images were too weak and I had to guess what it was about. The sound dominated most scenes and although the levels were well controlled they did distract me as I was constantly searching for an image that corresponds with the SFX.
Thank you for the remark, could you please clarify in which excerpt from the film did you have this feeling?

Interesting short film that would look better shot with conventional lighting. Only my opinion of course, don’t take it personally.

Lighting was the most difficult task for me, I would have liked to work with a DP who knows this area a thousand times better than me but unfortunately, I did not have this privilege.
Do not worry I do not take it personally, on the contrary, I am very happy with your remarks because it gives me an idea on the impact of my artistic and technical choices on the spectator and to know if these choices have achieved the goals wanted and therefore will allow me to improve in future projects.
(Quebec is one of my favourite cities, full of talented film makers)

Glad to know that you like the city of QUEBEC (Bienvenu au Québec!)

Would anybody else like to make a comment, it is important we have a variety of opinions.

Finally, I would like to apologize for my bad English.

simon m
1 month ago
simon m 1 month ago

Hey Samad, I loved your movie. I thought your concept was very unique and creative and fun. I thought your camera work was excellent and fit the story perfectly. I bet you had a lot of fun with your son making it!

Well done, and can't wait to see what you do next!

Samad EL KHARROUBI
1 month ago
Samad EL KHARROUBI 1 month ago

Hi Simon!
I am very happy that you liked my short film.
Thank you very much for your feedback and your remarks, it is really very encouraging for me.
Haha! Yes it was really fun making this short with my son as an actor, it was really a great experience for him and for me "
Thank you again!

TWSILK
1 month ago
TWSILK 1 month ago

I enjoyed the film and the concept.  I thought the starting out black with the sound, I didn't get the sense that it was from the box, it might have been cool to have the screen be black and then have a bit of some red starting to come into the frame or have something representing that the creature is in the box and starting to wake up.  I think the black screen opening was to represent the creature being inside the box??   I get it you don't want to give way too much  at that point but some sort of hint can be cool, to give a pov sense that something is going on. The red lighting though, worked for the creature's pov for me but it didn't work for me when it wasn't the creature.  I felt some of the night lighting started fairly strong but then it got harder to really read what was going on, not bad, but not as strong as other parts of your film.  For a first film it quite good and fun.

Samad EL KHARROUBI
3 weeks ago
Samad EL KHARROUBI 3 weeks ago

Hi TWSILK!

Thank you very much for your reply!

For the first part of the film, it was not to represent the inside of the box but it was just a way to stimulate the imagination and curiosity of the viewer a little bit. Besides, I find your idea to represent the creature inside the box very interesting, especially by making changes to the sound design (muffling the sound).
For your remarks on lighting, I'll take that into consideration for future projects.
For red light, it wasn't lighting, it was a decision made during color grading. When the creature first came face to face with the character 3:53, I gradually replaced the original colors with the red color (monochrome) to symbolize the start of a very dangerous situation for the character. But apparently it didn't work for some.

Glad you enjoyed watching my film!

Thank you!

TWSILK
3 weeks ago

You're welcome, see I didn't see the beginning the way you did, it confused me there was so sound and no picture I thought it wasn't playing right on my machine at first, I fast forwarded real quick and then saw video and realized it was intentional and then went back to the beginning. Its just how I reacted to it.

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