Are you sure you want to delete this?
Not Roger, obviously. I saw the whole thing, my first impression is that the story is bereft of drama, it’s 15 minutes long, and when you finally get to the point, we discover the lead character wants to con an ex-friend and rival. It took you very LONG to get to the point, and when we finally get there, the payoff was confusing and somewhat lackluster.
since you mention, Sturges. Take for instance the opening sequence of “The lady Eve”. Henry Fonda plays an awkward scientist who is the heir of a wealthy family. The drama stems from the Barbara Stanwyck character, who must find a way to seduce him, and ultimately marry him for his money. And we see the process of that happening, as she competes with other women to grab his attention. These plot elements are concise and the audience can follow through.
So, remember to have structure in mind, especially in a short film, where seconds matter!Back to Composition...